What do you do?

What do you do when you are there but not there, when you are seen and unseen, when you are heard but not fully and when you just can’t, won’t and don’t want to. When it’s just easier to say no worries and yet it’s those worries that consume you deeply…When it seems God is there one day and as far away as you can possibly think the next, or is He? How do you just put that next foot in front knowing it’s usually just you & Him. That’s all it has really been and that’s all it needs to be. That is all it needs to be. Him & I, me & Him.

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When it feels a little empty…

I often find myself praying something along the lines of “God, please, guide me to where you want me to be, I need you, I want you. Just answer my prayer this one time. I just need something to hold onto.” and then I feel like its just silence. Complete silence. What am I supposed to learn from silence especially when it feels like there is an unrelenting darkness that seems to follow me and flatten my perspective of truth.

I read this quote:

If desire is to earth what sight is to heaven, then God answers our prayer with more desire. It’s the desert that awakens and sustains desire. It’s the desert that dries up our infatuation with worldliness. And it’s the desert that draws us to the Well of the world to come.

The only thing that I do know for sure, is that in the midst of silence and uncertainty the things that we see and experience on earth are nowhere near how God sees a situation and the reasons behind allowing silence, prayers not answered in any expectant way and in fact I think it may be God’s way of trying to draw me closer to Him. Its in the silence that I have two choices, come closer or turn away. As much as my mind tries to convince me to do the latter, I cling and really cling is the right word here. I cling onto the hope that I know there is hope despite what seems like silence that never ends. Always hope.  God calls us to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12

So I will keep praying, keep hoping and know that God answers our prayer and that in the desert is where we will find God. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Time.

Time is a precious thing. It can go really quickly and also feel like it comes to a complete standstill. Currently, it feels like life is just rushing by and there are some days where I wish I could make time go a little slower so that I can enjoy things a little more.

My life at 25, well its not exactly where I thought I would be but then again I didn’t really know where or what I would be doing. Whilst finding myself pretty busy with work and studying and church and just life, it feels like I have let time pass by quickly without really stopping and reflecting on how purposeful I have been with the time God has given me. And then when it comes to time there was this quote I came across and honestly it spoke so loudly to me & I could relate to it on so many levels (not sure if that is a good thing or not!).

Image result for quotes about time

Those days where you feel like you can hold the people in your life together and then those times where you cant even hold yourself together and feel like your falling apart and there is no chance of getting it all back together. Well being in my mid 20s, it has felt like the latter more often than not. I feel like my busyness and lack of stillness in my life has made me feel like I have to  be strong and courageous no matter what happens in my life or what I do with my time.

I know that time spent with family and friends is my favourite way to spend time but one that has lacked more recently and I feel it deep in my heart is time spent with my Creator and the one who knows me the most. How can I go days and days without truly just sitting in the stillness of God?! If I did this more often I also wouldn’t feel that the world is on my shoulders, that every decision I make might be wrong and that it’s ok to fall apart sometimes but to also trust in the promises God has for me.

Actually time is a gift and sometimes I just wish I can remember that.

 

Yep, Yep & Yep!

Your soul misses Jesus when more time is spent on Facebook than face in the Book.

Your soul misses Jesus when more time is spent on Instagram feeds than feeding on His Word.

Your soul misses Jesus when more time is spent on Twitter chats than chatting with Jesus whom you claim to follow.

# AnnVoskamp #truth #yoursoulmissesJesus

Listening to the murmur

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.”

– John Lubbock

My Mum recently shared this quote with me & told me it reminded her of when I was younger. Apparently I used to spend hours lying on the grass, arms under my head, legs crossed and looking at the clouds floating in the sky.

Then mum sent me this photo… (a little embarrassing!)IMG_2042

I actually cried when I saw this photo (if you know me that would be no surprise whatsoever) – It made me wish that I could go back to that time. Growing up definitely has growing pains and a lot of it doesn’t really make sense and people often don’t tell you that life really can SUCK sometimes. But having these thoughts made me think of something else too…

Where are my dreams…

When do I just lay in the grass looking at the heavens & wonder..

Why don’t things in life make me so in awe of my Creator anymore …

I need to change my perspective a little bit because I know that God has a reason and purpose for me right now in this time. I want to dream and not give up when those dreams feel shattered, I want to lie in the grass and just wonder. I actually want Psalm 23:6 to be engraved in my heart as a constant reminder of who God is & how we each are part of His story.

Psalm 23:6

Your beauty and love chase after me
    every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
    for the rest of my life

So I say, make some time – lie in the grass, arms under your head, legs crossed and look at the clouds floating. Dream a little, find wonder & awe in the world around you but more importantly remember you are being pursued with a Love that will follow you every single day of your life.

xxx

 

Had to share…

You are wanted when you don’t want to be you.

You are picked when you feel picked apart and glossed over and not good enough.

Your name is called when you’ve had lies in your head for years calling you names.

You are loved when you feel unlovely and unloveable.

You belong as you are — even when you long to be someone else.

You are broken —- and Chosen.

You don’t have to hide your brokenness —- because it doesn’t change your chosenness.

You don’t have to hide your brokenness —-because it doesn’t change your chosenness.

You don’t have to deny your brokenness — because nothing can ever deny you of your chosenness.

You don’t have to fear your brokenness — because there’s nothing that can undo your chosenness.

That is all: You are broken — and Chosen.

There’s nothing to ever fear ever again.

Broken. And Chosen.

The End.

#annvoskamp #youbelong #neededtoreadthistoday

Hidden

Hidden by United Pursuit – Ever since I heard this song I have not been able to stop listening to it. It speaks so loudly to me, my walk with God & really just where I am at right now. There is something so sacred about being “hidden in the safety of Gods love” & “trusting Him completely” – I need & want that. Just wanted to share the lyrics with you, may it be an encouragement to you too & wherever you are at.

Hidden: United Pursuit

There was one when I was young
Who knew my heart
He knew my sorrow
He held my hand
And he lead me to trust him

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

As I grow
And as I change
May I love you more deeply
I will lean upon your grace
I will reap because your goodness is unending

You are my vision
My reason for living
Your kindness leads me to repentance
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend

The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory
The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows